The thunder in our steps (North Carolina Maritime Museum)

The thunder in our steps (North Carolina Maritime Museum)

By James Anthony Curtis

Not long ago we had the opportunity to visit the North Carolina Maritime Museum in Beaufort, NC. One of the latest exhibits was due to the find of Blackbeard’s ship, Queen Anne’s Revenge off the North Carolina coast where it went aground in 1718.’ Nearly 300 years after the pirates’ death, Blackbeard remains one of the most notorious rebels of the high seas, inspiring tales such as Treasure Island, and in more recent times movies such as the series Pirates of the Caribbean. And although there is a mysterious shroud surrounding the details in the path of piracy, many of those who chose to become pirates including Blackbeard, saw themselves as a social caste in revolt against a system which employed unfair treatment to those in it. Once committed to a life of rebellion on the high seas, ships were reorganized in social structure to provide very little power to the captain, instead electing or relieving him as necessary by the consciousness of the vote. And pirate vessels were one of the few places where slaves could gain freedom, which according to accounts a large portion of Blackbeard’s crew were of African origin.

 

Although Edward Thatch or more commonly known as ‘Teach’ was a tall slender man, his terrifying countenance was achieved when boarding a ship by the many lit fuses under the brim of his hat and in his black beard, which created an eerie essence along with the sling carrying several pistols and sword in hand. And despite his reputation he was remarkably judicious in his use of violence, as various eyewitness accounts claimed, he killed no one when boarding prior to his death in battle with the Royal Navy. Many Merchants simply surrendered without firing a shot, both witnessing his appearance and the small army that followed him as they were overwhelmed. At one point Blackbeard and his crew even settled in the small town of Bath, attempting to live out ‘normal’ lives, but eventually the life of piracy would draw them back to the sea, calling for something more than ‘settling’ could offer. And the image as a killer which was created by authorities to gain both public support for his demise, would not only resolve any of his misdeeds, but quell any future would be attempts at rebellion by setting an example.

 

Throughout our life path many of us will try to appease the demons that surface, doing our best to fit into the societal structure we live in, sweetening the day with our words, and hiding the doubts that may present themselves in our circumstances, but in the end our nature will expose itself in the innocence of who we are if our darkness is left unanswered. There is thunder in our steps, a radiant impression we leave in signature upon the earth as we walk in pilgrimage here, and even though who we are here may be tossed about on a sea of doubt, our thoughts, feelings, and desires will only continue to surface until they are acknowledged. The power of our divinity in human form wants to be birthed, reconciled, and expressed, which is why we may turn to desperate measures in order to bring our attention back to what the soul is asking for.

 

Today may we relax into our steps, feeling the ground shake beneath our feet, that the one we already may emerge in godhead, as thunder resounds in the heart of our answering. May we hold fast in dark places, allowing our innocence to guide us, and rather than rebellion, create the sacred space of our birth we have come to experience here in earth. And may we choose a free life rather than the stability of servitude to a system of impermanence, proving the ground we walk on by the love we offer, for the one who only desires to come forth in benefit of all beings.

 

May it be so, so it is.

 

“Bondage and butterflies”

“Bondage and butterflies”

By James Anthony Curtis

It can be difficult sometimes to embrace our circumstances if we feel uncomfortable with the feelings that arise, or our body experiences strong energies that may overwhelm our nervous system. We may experience physical sickness, bodily aches, a loss of focus, and an overall sense of fatigue, finding simple truths elusive, especially in the face of uncertainty. Usually, but not always, when we find ourselves experiencing these characteristics it is a form of communication from the body and soul requesting ‘attention,’ possibly integration, but always love.

As we learn to hear the requests of our soul, giving audience to what we feel, insight into our circumstances becomes more apparent─ which comes by the love we offer. Years ago I had an experience watching several training videos for work. One of them was on “shooters in the building and what to do.” There were 5 other men in the room watching the videos with me, and suddenly I felt sadness welling up within me, ache for the portrayal of violence (they have actors in the video portraying these potential scenarios), and tears began to flow. I remember turning away from the other men because of what they might think, but my heart, and innocence were working perfectly with the circumstances to reveal a desire for a more peaceful world, and also one in which men can share deep emotions.

Egoic tendency is to have a practice of persistence, willing our way through circumstances, and overcoming obstacles. But the spiritual realm exhibits patience, surrender, and embracing what arises as a part of our transformational nature. Doubt, and pain may seem like enemies, but they are actually emissaries of ego, working in coordination with our circumstances and the universe to take us deeper into our transformation. Our part that will provide relief is in coming to know ourselves, the one coming forth in us, and being open to the messengers that arrive as part of our process, rather than something to be overcome. Meeting our circumstances with innocence allows us to observe in loving compassion, rather than the incredulity of egoic patterning. This is where ‘childlike faith’ opens doors, and the universe meets us with an ‘unraveling’ of fortune previously unknown in this life path, buried in the depths until we were ready to receive it. The chains of bondage that may have held us in captivity are released though our transformational process, not because they have been broken, but because we are no longer the same creation.

Today may we be honest, allowing whatever we feel to bring us to who we already are, the one who desires to be whole, healthy, innocent and in love. May we see our circumstances as part of our transformation, working in coordination with the ego, body, and soul to shift us into a higher vibration. May we welcome our reality as a messenger to the desires of our heart, revealing all that we need to offer ourselves the love we have been asking for.

May it be so, so it is.

“Releasing ourselves”

“Releasing ourselves”

By James Anthony Curtis

 

By observing our attachments and the relationships we have with them, we may become aware of how we ground ourselves to earthly objects or circumstances for security. This will come naturally throughout life as we begin to sense a feeling of deep insecurity rising in us as we acknowledge our physical impermanency. Whether we are aware of it or not, much of the affliction we feel is based in our third dimensional existence, but once we are capable of viewing these attachments we also may become aware of another path which will bring us relief. In contemplation we may wonder, “how may I love, yet remain non-attached to this or that in relationship?” This is where we might feel daunted by our nervous system, as it may become overwhelmed by the structure of a third dimension reality, one in which we will feel the emotional energy of our investments rising, and egoic patterns revealing themselves as interwoven strands of desire in our circumstances where we begin to see attachment.

We can bring relief to ourselves by a simple yet effective practice in trust. Not from anything that someone else may tell us, or from what we see, but how we feel. When we confront our reality by saying the phrase, “I will ground my divinity by the earthly possessions I have” this may evoke a response within us that clearly feels unaligned in truth, which is a rather large step in the direction of truth if we are ready to receive it.

“Trust” may sound easy, like a handshake or a verbal agreement, but vibrationally it involves our ability to be sound, or ‘ring true’ in our agreements. The reason this seems more difficult as a teaching is because we commonly do not know what we trust or don’t trust except on a three dimensional level─ hence we form bonds of trust and security to physical things.

When I was grieving my mother’s passing a large part of the ‘letting go’ process was by the ‘embracing’ of her transition through death. This meant sitting next to her, looking in her eyes as tears welled in mine, holding her hand as she gasped for air, and speaking heartfelt words that were difficult to say in these moments, doing my best to comfort her, and me, knowing her vessel was a shell that housed her─ not all that she was. After she had passed my body, mind, and emotions continued to grieve the loss, as now it was losing the common reference of who she was in her vessel. Then came the grieving of her possessions as the family went through liquidating the estate, feeling all of the feelings attached on a cellular level to memories associated with her. These life paths we go through can be very difficult, but if we allow ourselves to venture deeper into the soul we find they not only serve our relationships outwardly with others, but most importantly they cultivate an intimate relationship within ourselves, one where we find as we allow ourselves to grieve, feel loss, and face our attachments, we experience a much more profound level of love with ourselves and others than we ever thought possible. We need very few possessions to remember, and sentiment travels with us vibrationally in the heart, not in the physicality of things.

“Releasing ourselves” is a process, one of grieving, respect, and gratitude as we tenderly acknowledge memories that have lodged themselves on a cellular level. Whether it is a person, place, object, event or circumstance we find difficulty in, today we may honor those parts coming forth in us as we abide with the feelings necessary for coming to know ourselves, healing, and allowing our life experiences to serve all beings.

May it be so, so it is.

Tuzigoot

Tuzigoot

By James Anthony Curtis

Recently we visited the Pueblo ruins of Tuzigoot (Too-ze-woot), just east of Clarkdale, Arizona. The ruins sit high on a hill above the Verde floodplain, and command an incredible view for hundreds of miles in almost every direction. At one point this was a thriving community of the Sinagua people, with approximately 200-400 living in community here at one time over a span of a few hundred years. They sustained themselves through farming, foraging, and a trade network of various items such as food, cotton, salt, and stone, to a variety of crafts-work in weaving, beads, and many other items of both practical and spiritual importance with other communities in the area.

Standing on the summit of one of the high walkways between the ruins, my eyes close, and I allow the body to drift with the intense winds as they lift the soul in journey upon their current. The fertile valley echoes a small river gently moving past, while birds, insects, and wildlife scurry about this sanctuary. Allowing myself to sink further into the energy of this place, time folds to the imagination, and a people come alive in a way of life that pervades common cultural thought on how to live in a society. Their cares of this world and its daily life are much different in nature than where we stand in reverence today. But in either case, there are threads that tie us to each other, those that form bonds beyond the three dimensional reality of what we commonly perceive. Although we may be of a different race, culture, or societal structure, our humanity runs deeper in the eternal vibration of ancestral lineage where we share a struggle of evolution in nature— our spiritual metamorphosis in occurrence.

Visiting these sacred places gives us the opportunity to visit ourselves, to gaze into life purposes, and see the reflections of where we have walked etched upon the ether of the earth. There is a sense of timelessness in us if we go deeper into our relationships, where impermanence meets energy, and the ego gives way to the openings of an ongoing journey of wonder, enlightenment, and compassion. If we give our heart the space of abiding that is asked for, we ease the pain of living on a temporal path, and expansion leads the soul to a larger world of exploration, one in which we come to know our universal self intimately across previous borders and boundaries.

The Sinagua people of the Verde Valley are not that distant in partnership, and when we stand where they stood, walk along paths they moved, breathing the gift of life filling the body as they once did, gratitude begins to well for the precious space of our soul in pilgrimage here on earth. We see both the hardships and the joys in traveling the world, and come to realize our paths may cross more than we know as we embrace our humanity.

Today may we grant time for our ancestors, valuing our connection, and the many paths they have walked before us. May we see beyond our limitations by the holding of the heart in loving compassion, offering ourselves as a living sacrifice to the one who is emerging in us, the one we have been waiting for, in benefit of all beings.

May it be so, so it is.

“Some Mountains are not meant to be moved”

“Some mountains are not meant to be moved”

By James Anthony Curtis

It’s been well over a year now living on the road, since the sale of the land, house, and most of my property. When things began to shift back in 2014, I was married, we had just purchased 24 acres with a small home and garage, there was an abundance of friends, family, wealth and health in many aspects of life. But the universe has a way of bringing things to our attention, things that we are not willing to look at readily, places within us that wait for the timing of perfection to reach its tipping point, and once the doors to these places are opened, a flood of changes burst through unraveling our reality with divine precision. My relationships, faith, and emotional stability were utterly cast to the wind for the current of uncertainty to take me. Reflecting back now, seeing that poor soul writhing in agonizing tears day after day on the floor, experiencing such loss, aloneness, and in complete despair – a derelict of society – there are times I go back and sit with him in his feelings, placing my hand upon his shoulder, gently whispering in his ear, “you are loved, it will all work out.”

We may do our best to succeed in our endeavors, forming relationships with friends and family, developing our skills, and moving upon the earth with grace as best we can, but the most purposeful ‘things’ we can give our love and attention to are those places which call to us that often we are unwilling to hear. Frequently they bring with them the pain of uncomfortable circumstances, feelings that we may wish to avoid, and the loneliness of deep abiding, which is in part what we have come for to offer loving compassion. Although we are never alone, at times it is necessary for our growth, a ‘construct,’ and a tool, that serves only to take us further inward in transformational power, which allows a depth of connection across any perceived border or boundary of who we truly are. Paradoxically the time we spend with ourselves opens our vision for expansion by the love we offer, and as we grow we will experience the loss of our egoic constructs, but in turn there is a multitude of wholeness that embraces our soul. In a sense, we lose a reality that may have appeared to hold and comfort us for years, but was based in illusion, and as it unravels we find the truth of who we are, and a much larger reality to stand on, even though grounded in the faith of losing ourselves to uncertainty.

The feelings we feel through our experiences shadow in comparison to the larger part of our self moving behind the scenes. Not that they are devalued by any means, but rather take on a much higher vibration in light as they become known as agents of our spiritual evolution working in concert with the universe for what we truly desire.

Sitting at the base of the Superstition Mountains, at our new home for the next month or so, there is an unmistakable newness to life, where even in the ache of growth, if we allow ourselves to abide with ourselves in what we feel, providing space for the heart, underneath there is always a rock of peace we may anchor to in what we feel. Comfort comes not from the certainties we may attempt to find in life, but rather from the uncertainties we have found in the faith of love. Underneath our insecurities, fears, and doubts that may arise sometimes, which are only asking for the love we are all deserving of, there is a path to be found, often the less traveled pilgrim’s road, in the uncertainty of the wind, and unpredictability of love.

Today may we find the treasures of our heart, through the ‘openings’ of space loss has provided for us. May we feel deeper, underneath the layers of our emotion, as we abide with what is calling out to us to be heard, seen, and loved for the benefit of all beings. May we find the doors, and answer the one who is knocking, that heaven may come forth in our time as all is revealed.

May it be so, so it is.

“The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:8

“Falling in love”

“Falling in love”

By James Anthony Curtis

There are many romanticisms in our culture that signify the feeling of “falling in love” with someone. We see it in the holidays, or movies, and in the commercialism of products at the store, and we hear of it on the radio, read about it in books, magazines, and while watching TV. And from an early age we are inducted into the tantalization of meeting that person, or finding the perfect romantic place, and special circumstance, where the stars align coming together for the introduction of our soul mate – the one who will meet every desire, fulfilling our most intimate dreams, and finally we will be complete. Ironically, this is not far from the truth of why we are here. If you are one of those who desires deep connection, looks around every corner for a possible match to your being, and feels in your bones that “person is out there,” there is hope for you.

Our body reveals an amazing amount of information about who we are, the journey we are on, and what life has to offer us. And although we’ve been prodded for years this way or that into various forms of romantic ideas by our culture or otherwise, those messengers of cupid were only a part of a larger picture moving on behalf of our being. The body, our emotions, even the obsessive thoughts we may have at times, are working in coordination with the universe, revealing the innermost desires of our heart as we proceed through life. In a way, we’ve kind of been set up really, because everything we have experienced – even in the romanticism of love, has been to gear us up for the shift in enabling us to receive love on a much deeper level than we ever could have imagined.

So before some of you burst, let us ease your being by first saying, “yes, soulmates exist,” and “yes, the relationship you’ve desired is out there.” Now let me contradict myself and share that, what we are seeking we will never find “out there,” as long as our focus remains in fulfilling our desires through outer circumstances aligning for us. Just as we have in a sense been “set up” by forces beyond our understanding at certain moments we have experienced in our life path, those same “forces” are at work in us to align those places that understand our desire of love. If we are to view ourselves standing inside a great ‘mirrored’ water droplet, the things we see are the reflections of our self upon its walls. Yes, we still interact, and form relationships with others, but how we view ourselves and them is based in our reflection of self. And as we learn to love ourselves in the way we desire our relationships to manifest, the reflection shifts both for ourselves and those we interact with. The “one” we desire has been waiting for us just as much we have been waiting for them, and as we are ready, the parts that are in need come forth to be revealed by the light of the universe for our alignment.

It’s incredibly easy to focus on the outer world, and our relationship to it in attempts to arrange circumstances for our benefit, but if we allow ourselves to observe, feel, and acknowledge what we view in our journey as a learning curve of the relationship with ourselves, we find the universe more willing to cooperate with us as we adjust our focus. “Falling in love,” then becomes an intimate experience of coming to know who we are, our desires, and how we may fulfill them. We may find parts emerging within us that may have been dormant for years, or some we have never known, but desire to give us their gifts. And if we fall deep enough, we discover our voice, we openly share our heart, and we find the one we have in times past sought with such fervor, has been seeking us, and we are never alone.

May it be so, so it is.

“Deeper in our Healing”

“Deeper in our Healing”

By James Anthony Curtis

Often healing starts with external circumstances, like childhood trauma, abuse, and neglect only to name a few. As a healing proceeds deeper though, there are many vibrational threads within our healing that begin to arise that were previously unknown, hidden in a sense beneath the outer circumstances of the wounds we experienced. This “deeper healing” will only be revealed when we are ready for its unveiling, working in coordination with the universe for timing. All circumstances will align both in body and spirit for the most effective chance in shifting our internal vibration for wellbeing.

Soul contracts are one of the avenues we proceed with, both in previous agreements we have made with ourselves, or with other souls in an effort to heal eternal vibrational threads in us. One of these contracts that is very difficult to endure yet works very well is a “twin flame” contract. Twin Flames are those relationships which challenge us in a chaotic, addictive manner, turning our world upside down, inside out, for the revealing of parts in ourselves that are in deep need of love (part of our purpose in coming here). So as we experience our circumstances we begin to ask questions such as, “should I be here?” or, “is this loving?”

Although we live in this 3-D reality, we are multidimensional beings existing on higher planes energetically, simultaneously. What many times appears in our outer circumstances is for our internal path of growth, healing, expression, and spiritual evolution. So what we experience often while focusing outward on our circumstances, is necessary to bring us inward for our wellbeing. The emotions that arise within us due to our outer environment and relationships not only tend to carry debris for clearing as a part of the healing process, but also information about what feels in alignment for our life path.

Holding the heart in loving compassion through this process is paramount, because our heart field feels everything we feel as it arises – energetically we need to ‘feel to heal,’ but if not done with this practice, we may create deeper fissures in already existing vibrational wounds. As we learn to nurture the heart, feeling what we feel, often strong emotion will be granted passage for deeper healing in the contracts we have come to fulfill here as a part of our pilgrimage. This is not for wellbeing, but for our self-expression of what we truly desire – through each part that is cleared in our healing, we also receive a much clearer picture of our circumstances and what aligns with our desires.

In other words, even though we interact with others, care for them deeply, and are here simultaneously in fellowship with the earth and its inhabitants, it really is all about you. Although this may seem like a selfish concept at first, as each of us loves and heals in the process, the clearer picture which we receive transmits not only what each of us desires, but the truth of where we stand, and how love is moving for all of us in guidance to vibrational alignment for fulfillment.

Each of us has our soul contracts, and reasons for coming here. Although every one of us is experiencing a finite path unique to us, yet we are all infinite source creators of love. The more we awaken, clearing emotional debris, aligning with who we are, we expand to receive the infinite love of who we are as source. Clarity comes, but only as we receive our ‘reflections’ in listening to what they are sharing for us, feeling into our experiences, and loving those parts within us that are asking for our attention.

May we embrace the “deeper healing” as we are ready, coming to know those parts that are surfacing for the love we have to offer. May we view others in gratitude, for the contracts they have signed with us, and us with them. May we see our journey as an eternal one, our time here as a pilgrimage, for the love we have come to express, as the one we already are.

May it be so, so it is.

“Blaming”

“Blame”

By James Anthony Curtis

When we feel uncomfortable, awkward, or ill inside, it’s easy to assign our feelings to outer circumstances that challenge our sense of peace. Our mind will attempt to resolve feelings with the usual conversations we hear ourselves saying such as, “if only they were like this, then I would be happy” or, “it’s their fault I feel this way.” These are common repeating themes we have heard from ourselves and others when we are in blaming conditions for how we feel. In my own experience I’ve gone so far as to blame the weather, gas prices, who is president, and even ‘God’ for what I am feeling. And to add to the matter is our attempts at altering our outer circumstances spending much of our entire lives trying to rearrange our environments, relationships, jobs, homes, and pets to just how we want them, in hopes that this would somehow satisfy the life we are living, giving us ease in the world that often leaves us filled with ‘wanting.’

Anytime we blame though, our heart feels what is being said, from the finger pointing to the “if onlys” in our attempts at rearranging life as we would have it. This creates a dynamic of unworthiness in our vibrational field, and the heart continues to build walls in order to do its best for protecting itself. Most of us have carried this vibrational thread from lifetime to lifetime until we were ready to address the pain that arises from its frequency. The repeating habitual patterns that exist in us, or karma, often are viewed as plagues that we have somehow ‘earned,’ and we must either be “good enough” to shift them, or we deserve what we have received based on our behaviors in this or a previous lifetime. This is a deeper level of blame in that we have shifted our perspective from outer circumstances to blaming ourselves directly for what we are feeling. This may take us into intense depression or anxiety, much of which exists today in the current mental health field. The resulting trauma of “blame” extends to every corner of humanity, locking us into a cycle of oppression that will not be broken by conventional means. This is where we trust in the saving grace of our greater self along the evolutionary path, as we become aware in our awakening.

Although we may find ourselves in the mire of our feelings asking what we may do to receive help or support to shift our position for the better, the key to easing our pain in the evolutionary process is by the allowing of love to come to the forefront of our practice. When thoughts or feelings plague us, and we find ourselves going further into blame, we don’t fight what we think or feel, but grant ourselves permission think or feel while we embrace the heart in a loving manner. A simple yet very effective practice we this is to place the hand upon the heart, and talk to the heart saying, “even though I feel blame, I want you to know that I will not abandon, or reject you, I am here for you, and I love you.” What arises as we do this is necessary for us to feel for our healing, as we have created a safe channel for cellular debris to travel. We are no longer withholding what we think or feel, but through loving the heart we have given our karma the opportunity to be acknowledged, in essence clearing repeating patterns through the love we offer shifting our vibrational fields.

Today, as we are ready, may we grant ourselves the necessary space for our healing, acknowledging the truths that arise, giving attention to those parts that are being revealed in each awakening, both in thought and feeling that are desiring resolution. May we maintain the simple practice of holding the heart, as we feel all that is arising for our wellbeing, as we love the one that is asking to be loved, for the benefit of all beings.

May it be so, so it is.

“Winter roads”

“Winter roads”

By James Anthony Curtis

Some roads are meant to be driven with ease, enjoying the scenery, breathing in the warm sun on our skin, yet others, driven with extra attention and care, focusing on the subtle changes that come with the weather, feeling into the conditions we drive in.

We may want to go faster, speeding up to arrive at our where we are going, finding ourselves irritated, anxious, even frustrated when taking account of our progress, and although our arrival comes no faster, the truths that surface in our emotions are more valuable than any destination. The places we intend in our journey are not necessarily what our journey is about. Those sometimes frightful, often irritating, uncomfortable moments in between, are where we need to be, or they would not be a part of the road we travel.

We learn to trust in the orchestration of our circumstances, those “irritations, anxieties, and frustrations,” that they come into our life for a reason, and by abiding with them in love, they present their gifts on ‘winter roads.’ Every day, each season, and various events that unfold in our lives – even the weather we experience, are a part of the connection to the inward path as well as what we have come here to express outwardly in our being. A thunder clap, gust of wind, or heavy snow in olden times, was of particular meaning in that we are divinity incarnate, sons and daughters of source, and source communicates through any and all ways in our human field of experience.

As we sit with ourselves, in all that we feel, allowing love to touch our heart even in the midst of the most afflictive of emotions, we embrace ourselves, those parts that are coming forth in us to be acknowledged for our most fulfilling reality to unfold. Many times circumstances are created specifically for or by us in these various conditions, that our environment may expose those places within us that have been desiring to come forward, which may not be so easily seen in otherwise more pleasant surroundings.

So today may we feel, touching the hand to our heart, giving ourselves the love we have been asking for, utilizing all circumstances coming into our life as our forefathers did of old, for the insight, attention and love we have been asking for – allowing ourselves to fully engage the roads we travel on, acknowledging the truths that surface in us, connecting both inward and out to our nature. May we allow ourselves to hold the one coming forth to be held, the one we already are, for the love of all beings.

May it be so, so it is.