Seeing our Greatness in Affliction

“Seeing our greatness in affliction”

By James Anthony Curtis

The past few days near Mt. Graham, Arizona, the temperature where we are staying has dropped significantly, the wind adding to the chill goes right through the body, piercing the marrow in the bones, until it feels like there is just no warmth left to the soul. You begin shaking, seeking out any place that might bring some relief, even acting out in mannerisms that might be very telling of the desires locked away within our mortality. Anger, frustration, and depression are common elements that arise as the cold seeps into the body.

Back east, every winter this seemed like a mass exodus in emotional waves that would cover the small town of people when winter began its arrival. The mountains of the Alleghenies though, have a way of hiding the sky, even their greatness, as the hills are close in relation to one another, providing a sense of density that out west does not have. And the humidity seems to stick with you, clinging, in all its various forms, creating a weight of sorts, that feels very much like your body is oppressed in reasoning as to why you would ‘live where you live.’

But the point of it is, we have chosen, each of us, to live where we live, be with whom we are, even if we are caught in habitual patterns of arrangement unconsciously, seemingly through no control or thought of our own. In an inclusive universe, although it may not feel like it, those very parts that are under affliction, are streaming information to the whole of creation as to what we like, even in our ‘dislikes.’ More importantly, as we learn to listen to ourselves, the places within us that surface in emotion, are coming forward to ask or reveal what it is we truly desire. This is always love, in some form or another, whether it be nurturing, holding space, or acknowledgement, our divinity is the love manifesting circumstances for us even though it may appear we have not chosen them. What we do with our response, or reaction, how we treat ourselves through what comes forward, is the love we have been gifted with for shifting our vibration. How we meet life, even in our dislike of circumstances, produces a way forward for the expansion of the heart, which in turn allows room for us to grow in our eternal form. We can either choose to embrace the beauty in our orchestration, acknowledging the genius source creators that we are, or continue on in our patterns, seeing only what we wish to see until we are ready. In either case though, love again is the point in our choosing, beit conscious or unconscious in our awareness.

It might bring some small comfort that, though I am aware of this process, each time is an opportunity to move through it with grace. The ‘unmerited favor’ comes from allowing me to be with me, finite self to connect with infinite self, choosing to abide with strong feelings, uncomfortable sensations, while holding the heart with love, and not abandoning or rejecting it along with the cold.

Today as I look up at the majesty of the mountain, I feel the incredible wealth of colds affliction, the greatness in our mortal journey, why we are revered above angels, because of the pilgrimage we have chosen. With each breath we open ourselves to the one that is coming forth, that desires more than anything to be born, to live as god incarnate here in earth. The fears that we feel are only the pains of being squeezed into this tiny frame, so we feel as we are ready, being gentle with our mortality, granting passage to our afflictions, knowing they are only a part of the birthing process, of coming to know the one we already are, the love that we are, as compassion warms the heart in light for all beings within us.

Blessings my dear friends, much love, gratitude for the heart road we are walking. May it be so, so it is.

Kartchner Caverns, Arizona State Park

Kartchner Caverns, Arizona State Park

By James Anthony Curtis


We had the pleasure of visiting Kartchner Caverns on Friday November 30th, 2018. Its hard to believe that 44 years ago, almost to the date in November, this cavern was just being discovered by Gary Tenen and Randy Tufts as they were exploring the limestone hills at the eastern base of the Whetstone Mountains. The two men dreamed of finding “a cave no one had ever found,” and indeed they found it.

As we neared the Limestone hills containing the now well maintained, manmade entrance to the caverns, we had no idea what we were in store for as we approached the entrance. The hills themselves do not sit that far from the highway, and leave little to be awed by from an outward view. There is nothing that gives any indication to the incredible beauty that awaits under the surface, and once inside its mind boggling what it must have been like coming upon this treasure in such a dark exploration. Gary and Randy were two such souls that truly felt the significance of a place like this, and kept the cave secret until February of 1978, when they sat down to share the their find with property owners James and Lois Kartchner. The two knew the cave had to be conserved, since natural wonders can seriously be damaged from unregulated usage, and a course of action was set into motion to approach Arizona State Parks about acquiring the caverns.

It’s hard to believe as you look over at the original entrance, which is hardly noticeable, that a small, dark, hole into the earth, leads to such magnificent beauty in what lays beneath. Our ranger guide was very informative, as was everyone working at the park, and you could feel the passion in his sharing each step of the way as we entered the tunnel to the caverns.

It was sunny yet very chilly outside, and as you approach the first door, you see the beginnings of tunneling into the hillside. The park takes great lengths in precaution to preserve the still actively growing cave, listing many helpful ways in which we will be walking into the cavern as to not disturb what has taken hundreds of thousands of years to form.

Upon walking through the first door, immediately the temperature is a comfortable 72 or so degrees, humid, and surprisingly pleasant. We pass through long tunnels painstakingly made for easier access into the caves, and a total of three large metal doors, sealing the outside world, and preserving the inner one.

Kartchner Caverns is one of those rare places on earth that brings you to a place deep within yourself, thats hard to comprehend the amount of time, pressure, and gravity of circumstances to create. Gary and Randy crawled, through a tiny black opening, squeezing, moving, exploring the darkness, until it opened into something ancient, magnificent, leaving a legacy of awe to what others might share. The beauty is remarkable, even more so as you realize the process in discovering it, and the truth which made it.

I found myself feeling into my own journey as we walked, those dark places yet to be discovered, and the ones that have revealed themselves through much crawling, squeezing and exploring in great effort. The ranger that took us in remarked, “its hard to believe this much beauty formed over so much time in such darkness.”

Many times in our journey it’s difficult to view our own darkness with such reverence — mostly because we get caught up in those tight places, grasping for movement, trying to reason our way through tiny limitations, when being human is really all about feeling those closed spaces. As we allow ourselves to abide with the dark, seeing past the tiny openings, our desires guide us into something much more than we could ever have hoped for.

When we are ready, may we find our ‘sink hole,’ beginning the long journey inward to see what has been forming for a very long time. May we crawl, squeeze, move at our pace, allowing ourselves to enjoy each exploration with love. And as we come to know the one we have been waiting for, may we greet ourselves with all the tenderness we have long desired, for the benefit of all beings.

May it be so, so it is. ????

Mirror, mirror…

Mirror, mirror…

By James Anthony Curtis

Rain continues this day, as I listen to the drip, drip, drip upon the gutters, grey skies holding true to their foretelling of the mood. It always amazes me how nature can be a perfect reflection of those parts within me on any given day, and when the shift comes, synchronized walls fall as the clouds move to produce the brightness of the sun. But the shift isn’t the goal, more of a byproduct of loves intrepid work in revealing the depths in deep need, each darkness claiming stake for the next round of feeling.

Some days as ironic as it sounds, I just don’t feel like feeling.

SO I wake up, go about my day, as the universe patiently waits for my readiness. Days may bleed into weeks, but not so much anymore, as once quickened, life has a way to coax us back into our attentiveness. I’m learning not to push, to prod myself or others in our chosen life path, but rather to simply allow me to flow as the person Ive come to experience this journey in.

As a healer, I’m very familiar with those coming to me for answers, but answers are different than healing. Healing can manifest in a variety of ways, but Ive never seen it arrive solely as an ‘answer.’ Mostly, healing comes as that pesky neighbor knocking at some odd hour at the back door, or the painful newscast we wince at in passing – wishing the world was a safer place. Deep healing arises almost unnoticed, maybe a forgotten dream in the night, or some ache upon waking for the day, possibly a co-worker saying the same annoying thing, complaining in our ear. These ‘feelings,’ left unattended, begin to work their festering magic, seeping underneath, into the cracks of our soul, until that day comes when we don’t ‘feel’ like going to work, we call off, crawling back into our bed.

And when ready, when there has been enough space created, we begin to examine ourselves, asking those difficult questions, maybe allowing difficult feelings.

The distance we feel, is nothing more than the space we have genuinely created, for love to close the gap between us and us. Oppression, heart-ache, sickness, and death, all reveal this great distance, the one inside that we miss, our infinite selves. But if we allow our demons to work for us, those parts that feel plagued, our eyes will come to know the truth of loves revealing, of each costumed scary character that has come forth, only as an aid to our most desired healing.

Sometimes the most potent feelings are the ones that arise out of our need to be seen, to know that we are not alone, that even in dire circumstances, all is unfolding for our benefit.

So we listen to the rain, feel the grey, hear the wind upon the trees, and allow as we allow, as we are ready to receive. We flow with the river of our true nature, granting passage for life to move as it chooses, welcoming both our resistance, and each embrace, with all the love we wish to be given, as no one else can, as we tenderly, sometimes painfully, hold the heart in all that we feel.

May it be so, so it is. ????

To the ‘One’ whistling in the dark

To the ‘One’ whistling in the dark

By James Anthony Curtis

It’s hard to accept the arrangement of some fears, they strike with such precision, and depth, it feels as though our heart will stop. “Not being good enough,” along with the torment of “unworthiness, abandonment, and rejection,” can often leave us feeling bruised, bullied, alone…cowering in some dark corner.

But as we learn about bullies, we find that most of their lives they themselves have been bullied, and receiving little to no acknowledgement, only desiring to be heard, seen, shown the attention they lacked, come knocking at our door. Frequently they arrive with expressions of anger, hatred, and accusations of the ground we stand on, taunting us until we fold inward, sinking deeper into depression.

Some days “the fear of not being good enough” lashes out with such ferocity, that it seems as though the whole world has joined with them as a gang of torment, to all of which we feel overwhelmed, bottoming out, and with no room left to recoil, we turn towards our demons. As we face our captors, we willingly succumb, opening the door, inviting the end to be near, showing them in for as long as they wish to stay, abiding with them in the innocence of our heart.

“Come in,” we say, “I will not abandon me, nor resist you,” and feeling their presence, the deep ache, the pain gripping at our soul, they are heard.

Soon, many more of their friends arrive, ‘self-pity, poverty, cruelty, and ugliness,’ a hard looking bunch, from many years of living on the fringe of existence. They lounge wherever they please, mostly choosing to sprawl across the heart as it opens to receive them. But as they do, we do the opposite of our earthly nature, divining a way less seen, and we continue to sit, holding our heart in the midst of their chattering. Tears gently fall upon the cheeks, gravity guiding them down well-worn paths, as the ruin of our guests touches us.

‘Abandonment, rejection, and unworthiness’ complete the crowd now gathered, a full house, yet still we hold true to love, the practice of being with strong energy, and holding the heart, as each of them comes forth to be felt, listened to, seen as no one else can.

Breath by breath, we feel intimately those that are here for acknowledgement, that healing may occur as needed, with each truth of our pain.

We continue by setting aside judgements and opinions about the circumstances of each arising, simply feeling, allowing passage for cellular debris to manifest, releasing as they will; just as a sliver works its way out of the body, so to the creation serves love even in the most difficult of circumstances.

Gently bowing, each of one of our guests depart, moving on as we stand in truth, holding space for them, while loving the heart, tenderly, as gently as we can.

The sun comes forth, shining, broadening our inner chambers, and the room feels lighter, the breath easier, our healing process deeper.

The room is now empty, but somehow we fill more of it, larger, for as we have come know those parts, so to we have come to know ourselves, the one coming forth, the love that we are, for the benefit of all beings.

May it be so, and so it is.????

– From my next book: “Honoring the One Coming Forth”

“The value in our ache”

“The value in our ache”

By James Anthony Curtis

It’s 5:59 in the morning, flashes of light streak across the bedroom window, as rain begins to fall gently on the trees outside. It’s still warm enough in early October to keep the window open, fresh air wafting in natures breath, and in the distance, thunder rolls somewhere in the far hills, moving closer, the morning approaching but not here yet. Now and then a crackling lightning can barely be heard, static building, reminding me of places within, feelings from long ago.

Memories come, water welling up in the corner of my eye, of various precious moments, gone now, ironically as I blink, the tear rolls down across my face.

In years past, there was an old thread of doubt, a sad story that would come upon me, moving me in this theater of remembrance, more of a captor to some sad story. But this morning I Am moved with awe in these places, viewing each haunting, with thankfulness in the heart of compassion. I’m beginning to realize the depth of loss, the fulfillment in its gifts, where joy and sorrow meet, with each utterance of branding grace, and what makes this experience so special, is not the intensity, or the surround of its venue, but the high place from which I sit, looking upon its rarity.

Abandonment, rejection, poverty, and aloneness, are but messengers of greater friendship, the connection to our future self, observing the rules we have laid down, for our liberation of life’s treasure. It wont make sense, its not supposed to; just as the fiddle player moves in rhythm to bandy dance, our ancestors come forth from another time, bringing their melody, through the strings of well played paths. The mind will never figure it out, and will struggle to understand, but this way is for those few, who dying to live, gasp their final grasp, releasing to the nether.

Like monks in some forgotten monastery, we chant our koan in anticipation of letting go, only to come into the fullness of embracing. Prophets will affirm, with each listening as we draw closer, to the one we honor, hold, and acknowledge, when ready we will move forward; finding no solace in our temporary condition, upon this road all things meet, and will converge in harmonic oscillation, until we see the truth of it, played out as one line infinite in form. Yes there is joy in sorrow, blood in the deepest hue of blue sky, if we give way to our eternal life, awakening to point Reyes, in the midst of waves crashing upon our shoals.

So the rains drizzle this morning, reminding me of old, each memory has a place, a divine insight, some just to be expressed. Mother, father, sister, brother, the depressed, yet loved me with such passion, until in a blink regressed. But I know who they are, what they wanted me to see, so in each affliction, rests sweet melody, its not a time for mourning, unless it is, lets begin, with what we digest. For the benefit of all, loss comes, may it be so, so it is, for in our reign, nothing does not exist.

Workshop Saturday November 3rd at Wellspring Home & Garden

Upcoming Workshop on Saturday, November 3rd at Wellspring Home & Garden!

This next Saturday, another look into “Understanding our Manifestations” & “Befriending Pain!” A large “Thank You” to Wellspring Home and Garden for hosting this event!

We will explore our relationship with the universe as we walk the ‘inward path,’ giving attention to those parts in need within us asking for love and healing.

Breakfast will be provided, compliments of our most gracious hosts! See you soon!

‘For you, dear heart’

‘For you, dear heart’

By James Anthony Curtis

Many times we will focus outwardly, making our life path about those around us, the circumstances, even our physical health, which tends to become an issue for our preponderance as we look for the healing we need, but in the feelings of each of these resides the very relationship we ache for in our deep longing.

As a healer, I’m coming to know those parts most intimately, foremost in my own healing, and now daily with others who are in process. After attending a healers retreat recently, its becoming more and more apparent, that through the transmission of loving insights, sometimes difficult to hear, that the painful indications are of our divine coming forth. I’m learning to challenge myself with the light that shines, shorten my verbiage, and direct the focus as revealed by intuition.

I’m beginning to understand the great responsibility that rests with healer, and the fallacy of the ‘Hippocratic Oath’ if we are to awaken. For indeed, it is with sword, or scalpel, that the tender hand rests in compassion, revealing those parts surfacing for healing. The feelings triggered within us, are but the higher self in process, which is infinite in being, often leaving us with a feeling loneliness, because of the vastness of who we are that is emerging.

When we are in the deep, and the dark covers our understanding, of how, why, we give ourselves over to the uncertainty, each need to feel, lament, howl in pain, as each part comes forth to express desires which have been concealed.

Failure will appear, dawning its mask, as an indication that we have come here to heal that which is rooted in success.

‘Doubt’ will circle us, hungrily seething, as if to pounce when we are at our weakest, yet, in truth, only here to open that which desires faith.

And we will grasp, because grasping builds the perfect cocoon for metamorphosis, but as each thing slips away, we go inward into our transformation that awaits us.

At some point we stop letting go, and start embracing with love.

We feel the failure, but love the heart.
We feel the pressing to escape, but abide with compassion.
We cringe at our truths, but acknowledge them with innocence.
We ache at each loss, only to thank the universe for the room it is making.

In our shift, we realize success and failure are an illusion, they are only here as a part of our journey to trigger those things that are in need of our love.

And as right and wrong fall away, we realize we have come to know them as helpful constructs of the ego, revealing a bigger picture, another dimension of existence, eternal, where everything is here for our benefit, to help us learn who we are, and the love we have come to offer, in our receiving.

May we be fully emerged in our journey, as we are ready to receive, may it be so, so it is.

“Healing the abused”

“Healing the abused”

By James Anthony Curtis

This morning I watched a video that came up in my news feed of a dog that had been abused, now shown compassion for the first time. The animal was a little older than puppy age, maybe about a year or two, and as he was gently caressed cried out in pain. The strokes were unfamiliar to him, the tender hand, and as the caregiver moved with slow movements, the dog cowered in a corner, peeing itself, tail between its legs, as if it was being beaten, continuing to wail as he was touched.

After some time, the agonizing cries became whimpers, as the worker gently continued while talking softly, looking into the dog’s eyes. The dog began to settle slightly, and you could see an apparent shift in that the canine realized it was not being abused, but still felt the strokes upon its body with some revulsion, very difficult to receive.

Time-lapse showed the dog in a few weeks, still a little skittish, but now playing with other puppies, its tail still cowering but no longer hunched fearful in the corner. Another lapse showed the same dog now playing with the caregiver, running, licking, tail wagging, living liberated of much of the abuse it had previously experienced. I thought to myself, “this is very much like my own healing, and that of many others.”

While we may not come from abusive homes, or if we do, the inward neglect we learn can be just as abusive if we have deep wounds that are in need of care.

Having been through the healing process, working with past trauma, loss, grief, and abandonment, I know firsthand how foreign ‘love’ can feel, the uncomfortable touch of tenderness, which can be very painful to receive. Healing can be one of the ugliest experiences we go through, it can feel awful, tormenting even, and we will do everything in our power to cower away to some corner in fear. But as we allow gentleness, the tender hand to enter into our lives, the kind words, although they may feel uncomfortable, unbearable at times, we too will experience a shift.

The love we are willing to grant passage, will not fail us, though we will feel the pain of our past circumstances surfacing to be felt as we are loved.

We will doubt, resist, even fight in receiving the tender care, but the pain we have inside us longs to be released, healed, and the universe responds when we are ready.

In working with others, the most common space I experience as a healer is, the identifying agents that come forth disguised in outer circumstances, only to reveal themselves as love on a greater mission.

If we are brave enough to feel, while holding the heart in tender compassion, we open ourselves to the shift that aches to unfold for us.

We are the chosen who have ears to hear, eyes to see, and time to come forth. We are beautiful, blessed, children of the most high. May it be so, so it is.

(The video below may be very difficult to watch, please be advised)