“Is it worth it?”
By James Anthony Curtis
Yes, it is well worth it, either route, holding the heart in loving compassion, or not, both paths lead us home, but the one does so only in preparation of the other.
Awareness of our judgements does not shift our vibration, we are only aware of our judgements. The same habitual patterns stay unaltered in us at a cellular level.
“Boredom,” is only a surface emotion, underneath is so much more in emotional debris.
When we embrace the practice of sitting with what we feel, observing how we think, the patterns, this is apart of the process that leads us back home, to self-realization, the true nature of who we already are, but in my work as a healer, I’ve not only earlier in my own life experienced the stagnation, boredom, and anger, I knew no way out at the time, and as a result stayed in the mud for years, possibly lifetimes.
Much of our spiritual community remains trapped somewhere in the muck waiting, suffering, hoping to blossom at some point, asking, “is it worth it?”
I’ve been through incredible pain, suffering, and loss, only to be left with the practice, wondering those same things, until a few years back.
For me, those moments had to increase to the point and depth where I was ready, precisely, perfectly, to hear further, deeper than I’ve heard before.
That’s why the practices, the “boredom,” are so important, because they allow us the necessary cultivation time, just as everything we do does, to build our cocoon until we are ready to acknowledge the one coming forth.
ALL that we experience, do, feel, or think, is apart of the process.
When ready, we receive the choice of holding the heart, this is the choice that will change our lives, and even though we may take lifetimes to prepare, it does not mean that once we choose it we are pain free.
The difference is, we don’t abandon love with what we are feeling, the boredom as you shared, the habits, judgements, all that you observe, you observe while telling your heart, holding your heart, saying, “I will not abandon you, even though I feel all that I feel, think what I think, I am here loving you, holding you, with tender compassion.”
It sounds easy, but doing this while feeling extreme emotions, or emotional debris (habitual patterns), is incredibly painful, overwhelming, and can be isolating as you mentioned if proceeding in following your truths wherever they may lead.
My own experience was a year of almost total isolation, grieving, sometimes so hard my ribs were breaking.
But to go there without love, means we are not there, but building up to there, on the path, but not emerging. Asking to come forth, but not ready to receive what that means.
As I said, the three questions I posed yesterday, were for those ready to hear, receive this choice, emerge when and only ready to embrace who and what we are.
You sound/feel ready, relief is coming dear heart.
Much love, gratitude, blessings for you.