“Heal when ready”
I acknowledge your confusion, the pain you are describing in trying to sort out what you see, and are experiencing. Although you may feel very uncomfortable, intolerable even to the emotions at times, it sounds very normal in all interactions of what you are describing.
The thing is, in attempting to understand it, we tend to fill in the blanks with ideas, doubts, guesses, as to what is happening, rather than seeking real resolve through allowing, observing, and the acknowledging of what is coming forth to be felt.
We are energetic beings, and have a nervous system that can become easily overwhelmed by our triggered emotions, and whether it is real, or imagined in the mind, the circumstances that arise are a part of us getting to know ourselves, to love those parts in need in the depths that surface.
A suggestion would be to look beyond the characters, words, and scripts of the people involved, and move into the emotions of each energy.
Like, how do you feel with this confrontation? What arises in your body when this circumstance happens? Where does it arise? Is there truth in what is being triggered, what is that truth? Observe the truth without judgement if you can, but if it is judged, hold space for the heart saying, “I will not abandon you, no matter what I feel, think, or see.”
We are ‘sensitive’ beings, and can pick up far more than we realize, but sometimes this overwhelms us, leaving our clarity anything but clear. We need space to feel, being with our emotions, and allowing our infinite selves to comfort through simple abiding.
Our species has a habit of looking for answers, when we don’t even know the questions we are asking, nor the one asking.
Spend some time with you, trying not to judge what you feel, just feel, listen, breath.
Many blessings, much love, gratitude for the healing path you are on, the healer that you already are.