“Granting ourselves permission”
By James Anthony Curtis
So often we will not allow ourselves to think, dream, and explore, how we truly feel. We use tactics such as sarcasm, blame, and ignorance, to induce judgements which provide us with the necessary shame to turn on ourselves in fear.
Seeing through this veil can be difficult, if not impossible, when we are caught in the throws of our ridicule, but as we move closer to exhaustion, we become more pliable to surrender.
Our “plagues” work for us, opening rusted doors, allowing fresh air to break upon cold seals, even the deterioration itself is an ally in disguise, as once impassible barriers begin to crumble under the weight of time.
As we go deeper into our pain, we find the witness of our resolve, waiting, waiting for our readiness to be in the depths of the darkness, simply abiding without judgement.
We “grant ourselves permission,” to go into the difficult emotions, further in love, exploring the caverns of our desires, while holding the heart with all tenderness in each deep breath as we do so.
These are the moments of infinity, when eternal places come forth to be acknowledged, long forgotten wounds, parts, that as they emerge we find deeper reason in our desires.
We set aside transgression, leaving room for innocence, as we sit with the heart in all that we are feeling, allowing passage for ourselves down ancient halls.
This is a practice of “deep abiding,” where if we allow ourselves to take part, that which we take part in, begins to take part in us, relieving the ghosts that haunt us in our desires.
As we feel all that is arising for our acknowledgment, we find a greater sense of self emerging through the holding of our heart in love, feeling safe and not abandoned.
When we are ready, may we “grant ourselves permission,” that the one we have been waiting for may come forth, the love that we already are, for the benefit of all beings.
May it be so, so it is.