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“Mother to me”

“Mother to me”

By James Anthony Curtis

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and while not all of us might have, or have had, a beautiful relationship with a loving mother, or mother with her children, we all have the commonality of some type of relationship with each other. Even if abandoned or rejected, this still has produced a vibrational relationship in us.

And while many sons and daughters celebrated their mom on Mother’s Day, many others felt lost, or were grieving, sad, even angry, maybe on one or both sides of the relationship.

Some mothers were forgotten, or purposely ignored, leaving mom wondering what type of relationship they have with their children; while some children never really knew their mother, possibly by them passing, or given up in adoption, maybe addiction.

In every circumstance, each person has been living a life path with emotional debris, some parts reoccurring in other relationships, all affecting our well being.

Healing, or “mending” these vibrations can be very painful, and seemingly impossible from captured points of view, that might be holding us hostage in our psyche.

Many times we will spend years, possibly lifetimes attempting to understand these vibrations, patterns, and relationships in our lives.

But the best medicine, is allowing ourselves to feel, to be who we are, setting down our judgements and opinions about what we feel, and just feeling, while placing our hand upon our heart with love.

Yesterday I sat with my mom, at her graveside, just being me, for hours. No expectations, just allowing space to sit with and for us. It’s the first genuine time of truth since she has passed where we just “hung out.”

I pulled out my iPad, started to browse, and thought, “why am I doing this here,” but instead of the judgements, about what “I should or shouldn’t be doing,” I allowed myself to browse at her graveside.

A deep feeling of warmth and remembrance came over me, of us spending time at home in the house doing our own things, but yet together.

For me, this was beautiful healing in our connection, from mother in the after life, to the life path I’m now living. But this connection came when it was time, not immediately after her death, or when I wanted it to appear, but only as I was ready to receive the love offered.

May we each embrace our heart, giving patience to our healing, space for ourselves to be, when, and where we must, in our feelings as needed.

May every relationship be blessed, mothers, daughters, sons alike, in our journey we have longed to come and live.

May we share when ready, giving ourselves the love we have been asking for, allowing the divine feminine mother in all of us to nurture the one coming forth, the one we have been waiting for, that we already are, for the benefit of all beings.

May it be so, so it is.

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“To each their own”

“To each their own”

By James Anthony Curtis

In each life path there are elements of attention that must be brought to fruition in order for the heart to be fulfilled as needed.

Even in seeming disaster, sometimes circumstances that we deem inappropriate or uncomfortable work for our benefit to reveal the parts within us asking for love.

What may appear as betrayal, immaturity, abandonment or rejection, is merely the surfacing of lack within us confirming our truths as outer reflections manifesting for deep healing to occur.

Our reality we partake in human form is like a great movie unfolding, each player written in for our benefit acting out their role as needed.

The components of our journey are easily found to be tempting though, drawing us away from our inner path, forgetting all together we have asked for attention to love certain aspects that are revealed in our movie.

This is not a negative though, as everything unfolds for love, for not only have we come to heal, understand, and make our choices, we have come to express ourselves fulfilling our most precious desires of the heart.

For some, this might be motherhood, others, friendship on an infinitely beautiful walk, or maybe the lack of friends but finding fellowship with source as one. In each life path we all have longed to be here exactly in the capacity that we are, not necessarily to stay with or in a particular situation, but to embrace and own our choices we make through it.

As we learn to honor ourselves in the roles we play, paying attention to the feelings that arise for our wellbeing coming forth, we see a most wonderful theater where everyone is here living out their most loving dreams.

May we grant passage for our vision, as we are ready to see, hearing as we are ready to hear, that our destiny may blossom in perfection.

May we love along our life path, ever deepening our sharing, allowing ourselves to express all that we have come to fulfill.

May we embrace the one emerging, for the benefit of all beings, that we may live out our light incarnate, expressing all that we have come to shine forth, as the love we already are.

May it be so, so it is.

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“The Deep”

“The deep”

By James Anthony Curtis

When we were on our last “walk about,” we had the privilege of going aboard the World War II submarine USS Drum.

I’ve always been fascinated with submarines, those souls that ventured into the depths in them, and especially that period in human history where the mechanical workings of war were just blooming in technology.

When I visit these ships or places from our past, and allow myself to “touch,” connecting into and feeling them, glimpses of the past reveal the life paths that utilized these machines.

I’m always in awe of not just these souls submerging, diving into the abyss in these vessels, but waging war in them while navigating the terrors of “the deep” beneath the surface, hundreds sometimes thousands of miles.

 

 

But, I imagine that after some time, abiding in these conditions, life might take on a settled pattern, routines formed, and bonds would be built under the stress of a common foe.

Many inner challenges begin to unfold, as our enemies appear before us, dark foes clad in fascist form, come to enslave our lives, taking the freedoms we hold dear.

So the demons of our innocence manifest, we make war with the outer world, and we tell ourselves our responses our “just,” that no other way is possible, than what path we choose beneath the waves of diversity.

 

 

But these are our moments, the life paths of our deliverance, where we dive deep to experience all that we feel in our struggles, battles, that we may may go into the depths of our revealing.

 

 

To all souls that have walked this earth, in whatever capacity they have chosen, may we bless them in our divulging, every depth that we are coming to know.

May we see our outer struggles as the healing that they are, come to light those parts in need of attention.

May every suffering be acknowledged, as the one we have desired comes forth, the love we already are, in benefit of all beings.

May it be so, so it is.

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“The importance of being still”

“The importance of being still”

By James Anthony Curtis

Meditation is a practice vital to the wellness of our heart, spiritual nature, and healing of our soul.

In a fast paced world, it’s very easy to accumulate emotional debris, along with what we have been born with. It becomes very easy to neglect the heart, our truths, and the longing of our infinite to have communion with us.

In meditation a practice that has been incredibly nurturing over the years has been to first take a few deep breaths, then set intentions for the day, and proceed into deep listening of the body while focusing on the breath. The body is a wonderful gift of awareness to those parts of our infinite being that desire our connection. Simply “being” with ourselves in this manner provides a pathway for love to flourish in the essence of our soul, allowing tender healing as we embrace the stillness for our wellbeing.

The “longing” we commonly might feel in aloneness, is this very part asking for our attention through our feelings.

The universe knows, and will always respond to our needs through the circumstances of our life, whether we are awakened or not in our journey. But how we journey, the experiences we have and how we perceive them, are dependent on our relationship with ourselves.

As we embrace the heart, giving ourselves the space that is being asked for, a gentle ease comes back to us from the love that we are.

May we love those parts intimately, that are asking for our attention, longing to be held, for the one coming forth in our journey.

May we grant space for the time of being with our infinite self, nurturing the heart path, as we explore the inner chambers in stillness.

May we embrace the one we have waited for, with the depths of love we have desired, that our infinite journey may continue in fulfillment of all that we are, for the benefit of all beings.

May it be so, so it is.

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“What’s that sound!?”

“What’s that sound!?”

By James Anthony Curtis

So the other day we were camping at Denby Point campground in Arkansas, after a fresh rain, the sun came out for a beautiful sunset.

Im walking around in shorts, a pleasant 74 degrees, my sandals a bit wet, clothes slightly damp, but very much enjoying our time here.

My adventure partner was making some soup, I had just finished rewiring our electrical hookup to the teardrop camper, and decided to walk down to the lake to receive some of natures harmony.

This might all sound very peaceful, and it was, except for the concerning noise that continued on throughout a few hours. It was very slight, almost like wheezing, I would stop every now and then to see if I could pinpoint the source with no luck.

 

Some things wear on you if you can’t find resolve, and with this sound I just had to figure it out.

My mind tried very hard to reason what it could be, maybe an animal or person in distress in the distance? Maybe it’s me having some sort of health issue? Or possibly some weird mechanical device at the park not readily seen? Then there’s always the obvious places an old conspiracy head takes you like, “I’m picking up static transmissions from aliens…”

Every time I would stop, to give a bit closer ear, it was gone.

But in the end, I just listened to the wheezing, noticing, feeling its peculiarity when it would appear.

It funny how when you just sit with, and taste some flavors of life, their truths that you thought might be so big, are really just simple acknowledgements. Kind of like my “sound.” I had envisioned it as everything from “I’m dying, to aliens in my brain,” but when the truth was revealed, it was so very funny I burst out laughing, told my partner, and she lost it too.

My sandals.

Yes they wheeze when wet as they become more and more worn!

So once again the lesson here, it most likely isn’t the large things we fantasize as our irritations, but the most precious developments are right at the very soles of our feet. And with a little love, abiding and tenderness, they may even produce a smile from time to time, or an awkward burst of laughter in my case!

May you be blessed, may you be loved, listening to every part that asks for the attention it needs, especially those sounds that bring unsuspecting joy from our feet.

May it be so, so it is.

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“Earthquakes, wars and rumors of wars”

“Earthquakes, wars and rumors of wars”

By James Anthony Curtis

The other day we had the chance to visit the Naval Air Museum in Pensacola Florida.

As a kid growing up I was always fascinated with the ways we wage war, military history, and the various roles people have had in fighting them.

A practice I often do as a “sensitive,” is touching or observing objects, allowing myself to feel their energy, essentially immersing into them, which sometimes gives me impressions of other times, even seeing, feeling what the person felt, or was doing, and gives a glimpse of history in their life.

Although I like peace, and would claim to be somewhat of a pacifist, the real truth is we are all at war on some level in our darkness, the places that struggle to be acknowledged, heard, seen and held by love. Those parts that “quake” within us, shaking to be set free, as our divine nature comes forth in expression.

Outer circumstances are reflections, just as we may struggle within, so to we manifest outwardly those vibrations of our battles.

We may wish for peace, desire it deeply, but the truth that awaits is often painfully difficult to walk through, so we do so when ready, and accept our darkness while trying to understand our outer world for some context of healing.

Even though the dark may claim us for some time, the truth will always come forth, as everything works in the universe to receive our vibrational needs, reflecting them back to us for our growth.

When we have ripened, we open ourselves to the light of our seeing, granting passage for pain to reveal our bloom.

What once plagued us, becomes our saving grace, as love transforms our wars into wings.

To those brave souls that have gone before us, may you be blessed, finding your rest, and be at peace.

And to us, may we be brave, fighting the battles we see fit for our salvation, that our “deeper truths” may come forth when ready, that we may be healed, for all humanity, across all time, for the benefit of all beings.

May it be so, so it is.

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“How do we respond?”

“How do we respond?”

By James Anthony Curtis

In each response lays the groundwork to our energetic field, the shift that we emit vibrationally to the universe that ripples back our reflections to us.

The time we give in our listening to another for example, is really the time we are giving our own heart in completion of life’s creative circle.

As we embrace our circumstances, learning to abide in whatever we may feel while holding space for the heart in love, we realize the importance of this work, for in all our interactions we are always transmitting to our own heart.

The “responses” we give, we “hear,” so when we feel strong emotions, and tend to react strongly, the practice of abiding will help us to be with the energy, which is love as the heart recognizes it, because we are not abandoning the heart by running from what we feel.

Mindfulness practices can help us to hear the times when we are challenged, when we have strong reactions, and respond with slowing down, feeling what we feel, but doing so while anchoring love for our heart in our responses.

We begin to see the “oneness” in all things, because of how our heart feels through circumstances in all our responses. No longer is our world based on “mine” and “yours,” because how we respond to everything is an opportunity to shift our vibration through the love we grant ourselves in our responses.

Today may we “hear” the truth of our responses as we are ready, revealing the messages we are sending our heart.

May we slow down, feeling into our responses, breathing deeply, allowing love to nurture the heart as we feel what we feel, seeing into our circumstances.

May we grant love to our heart, in all interactions, for the one coming forth, the one we already are, in benefit to all beings.

May it be so, so it is.

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“Inspiration can sometimes ache”

“Inspiration can sometimes ache”

By Jame Anthony Curtis

I awoke this morning to my loving neighbor Burfir saying, “when it’s all said and done, sometimes there’s more said than done.”

His wife and family of five children were in morning meeting at the campsite next to us as apart of their daily routine. The youngest of the children is a baby, next, who I will call “Moon child” for anonymities sake, who is two, “Rye,” then “Mal,” all three girls, and the oldest a young boy of great intelligence we will call “Druid,” for his in depth passion for nature.

Each child has their own uniqueness, and I believe is an indigo, all were actively made part of the meeting.

Discussions range from planning daily scheduling, sitting with and sharing feelings, to use of bathroom time and chores. Even though the family is a well organized troupe, living minimally on the road, the times I see them even in what I will call “focus mode,” frequently they are enjoying laughter, abundance and full of inquisitive life, reminding me that we each are responsible for our lot, the life we claim, our happiness and spiritual growth.

Burfir is often up for his quiet time at 3 am., sitting amongst the stars, sometimes with his wife Maggie joining him for abiding time within.

Sometimes their day doesn’t end until 10pm, but even with such a large variety of age in their children, when the tent is occupied everyone is usually out without in minutes from an experience filled day.

Burfir can be found during the day under the van practicing mechanics, keeping the vehicle in top order, or maintaining focus on family goals. But then throughout the day you will see him either one on one with a child, or interacting with a few of the family in loving space.

Maggie, can be found doing much the same but in her overall care as clan mother, watching over the camp, the baby, children, the “backbone” giving loving support and guidance in partnership to her husband and family.

Today the ache I feel is from the inspiration that their family transmits, the divine warmth of safety, the nucleus that all the world craves in a tribe.

It’s a good ache, the kind that transmits change, and gives hope even though it aches in my own walk, for the shortcomings I feel.

But as always, we hold the heart, granting space for the feelings, practicing abiding with all that our feelings share with us, standing in our truth with loving compassion as we feel.

So today may we embrace our healing, even if it arises as ache, feeling into those parts that are asking to be loved, that the one we have been waiting for may come forth, in abundant love, as part of the “tribe,” the one we already are, for the benefit of all beings.

May it be so, so it is.

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“The Kingdom of Heaven”

“The Kingdom of Heaven”

By James Anthony Curtis

This morning I awoke to a light breeze, sunlight dipping through the trees lighting on the fronds below, and the laughter of children playing in the forest.

Crickets augment the bird song coming from the wood, and squirrels forage about our camp curiously stopping to observe us as they eat pine seeds.

Last night we had dinner with a lovely couple, vegans, who shared their lives, and beautiful gifts of spirit with us, as long time friends though we had just met.

Burfir, his wife Maggie, and their five indigo children reside at the campsite next to us, airing joy in abundance as they explore life with such brilliance it brings impossible obstacles to their knees in reverence.

Though we are desirous to move on this week, to journey forth in our adventures, all the heart feels in this moment is “home.”

The synchronicity is so thick in our experience we feel at times we have walked into a different dimension.

Some folks might refer to this as “road magic,” I prefer “Heaven.”

Heaven though was not found by anything but allowing feelings in a space of love, in an unexpected unfolding of blessings through great pain, loss and abiding; heavy weights, once embraced, yield their fruits as wellsprings for eternal living.

Looking at all of our circumstances, each family that we encounter in this vast kingdom, there are certain traits all of us seem to have in common: kindness, sharing, humility, joy, faith, patience and love. This doesn’t mean there is a lack in feelings of frustration, anger, disappointment, fear or sadness, but rather, a choosing to hold the heart in each unique way that we do with all the tenderness, gentleness and compassion we are seeking.

So today, may each of us grant ourselves the gifts of heaven, abiding with our feelings as they arise for our blessings, deep healing, and relief in the kindness we show our heart through all that we experience.

May we embrace love, as we have never loved before, opening our heart to the divine grace that we are.

May we welcome “home,” the one we have been waiting for, in benefit to all beings, the love that we already are, as our wings unfold.

May it be so, so it is.

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“Our deepest fears”

“Our deepest fears”

By James Anthony Curtis

When my mother was dying, my sisters and I spent the night with her in the room at the hospital as she slipped into a state of unconsciousness at dusk.

The days before this she began questioning, asking me what I thought would happen in death, where we would go, nervously approaching her final hours, very much like she could see them.

That night, after she lost her ability to speak, and slowly shifted somewhere between this world and beyond, her breath became labored, her mouth dry, and although her eyes were open, we could see she was in journey somewhere beyond.

We frequently would wet her mouth, share with each other, and hold her hand saying, “it’s ok mom, we’re here, everything is ok, we love you.”

As I laid my head next to hers, looking into her eyes, the little boy who she watched over for so many years, wished he could reach her one last time, give her some ease in her passing, tell her he knew of some place we could meet soon.

But in all of those last moments, all I could do was hope that heaven was true, that angels would care for my mom, and give us both what we need in our journey.

In those sobering moments, when the family looked to each other for comfort, and we all did our best to be with our mom, to put our best face forward for her, to love her, I couldn’t help but question my own mortality, the places within that labor to breath, that ask for help to be loved when there is no understanding of our passage.

My mother passed at 6:01 in the morning. I hadn’t received a text, or interruption of any kind all that night, but not one minute after her passing my phone vibrated. At the time, in our grief, I didn’t look, but later that morning, in the hallway outside her room, as we were making the final preparations for moms body, I glanced down at the phone. All the text said was, “I love you.”

We get what we need as we are open to it, feeling what we feel as we allow, being with those we love however we can.

The universe knows, and just as we are all connected in the mystery of our journey, so to as we embrace our “deepest fears” we are greeted with the love we desire to be held in and through all our transitions.

We are loved through all that we feel, one “I love you” at a time, placing our hand upon our heart, receiving our greater self healing in the moments we embrace all that we feel for wellbeing.

“I love you” – thank you mom.